CONCEPT
COSMIC TOUCH SHOWS HOW ONE WOMAN NAVIGATES THROUGH HER SEXUAL TRAUMA TO REACH HEALING ECSTASY.
THIS FILM IS A REFERENCE POINT, A VISUAL EXAMPLE FOR THOSE LOST IN A LABYRINTH OF SEXUAL SHAME. BY WITNESSING A WOMAN SELF-PLEASURE WITHOUT A PARTNER, VIEWERS GAIN CLARITY REGARDING HOW THEIR PARTNERS HAVE HELPED OR HINDERED THEIR OWN HEALING PROCESS.
COSMIC TOUCH ALSO REVEALS HOW MEDIA HAS LIMITED OUR UNDERSTANDING OF SEXUALITY. PORNOGRAPHY AND MAINSTREAM MEDIA HAS DEPICTED A VERY NARROW AND SHALLOW VIEW OF SEX. WE ARE RARELY SHOWN ITS SPIRITUAL HEIGHTS AND DEPTHS. DOING SO COULD BE TRIGGERING AND CONFRONTING, BUT ALSO INSPIRING AND HEALING.
WITHOUT THESE DISTINCTIONS, WE CONFUSE SEX TO BE ONLY A FRACTION OF WHAT IT IS, AND OURSELVES FOR BEING A FRACTION OF WHO WE ARE. WE ARE AN AMALGAM OF OUR WOUNDS, BOTH REMEMBERED AND FORGOTTEN, BOTH EXPERIENCED FIRST-HAND AND INHERITED. BY FACING THEM, THERE IS FREEDOM, POWER, PLEASURE, AND HEALING.
“i had a vision while i was self-pleasuring.”
One afternoon, while I was self-pleasuring with a healing intention to connect with myself, I saw myself being filmed doing exactly that. I saw women around the world watching this film to see what is possible when they come into this kind of intentional intimacy with themselves.
I work with women around the world — United States, Middle East, Australia, the Netherlands, Asia — who feel disconnected from their body. They are detached from their passion, their purpose, their creativity, their sex, and even their joy; women who are afraid to ask what they want, to set boundaries, to speak their truth, even with their most intimate life-partner or friends. I have witnessed these same women transform their lives in empowering ways. A huge part of that empowerment comes from Pleasure, from connecting with the wisdom in every cell of their body.
As a woman, I know how we have collectively pushed our sexuality into the shadows in the name of survival. By going into the realm of our sexuality in a safe and loving way, we discover an Aliveness that has been dormant, waiting to be utilized. When you reclaim your human right to connect with your own body and it's incredible senses, you reclaim Life. I believe this wholeheartedly, because I have seen it transform my own life, again and again.
Bringing this film to life is the scariest, craziest thing I’ve ever done, but the Why is so much bigger than my fear.
Thank you for visiting our film.
“The camera helps me confront my fears. I shoot and edit to heal.”
My wife and I both endured a 15-year sexless marriage stunted by religious shame. Neither of us had the tools to confront the sex abuse and child molestation we experienced in our past. During my marriage, pornography was the only means for me to educate myself to connect with my wife. Unfortunately, it had an inverse effect. When I divorced, I had a clinical fear of sex and women.
Filmmaking helps me to confront my deepest fears and curiosities. It is a means for me to experience, to re-visit those experiences, and to alchemize it by putting in my worship when I edit. Filmmaking is how I meet God, myself and how I heal.
When I met Lillian on Facebook, I was following an unknown curiosity after making my first erotic short Just For One Day. I shared my film to her, and immediately, she knew I was the right filmmaker for a vision she had yet to disclose to me. When she told me her vision, I received it with all the emotions you could imagine — excitement, fear, horror, and shame. I had a similar vision of doing a film experiment of a woman self-pleasuring, but I categorized this idea as perverted, pornographic, an expression of toxic masculinity. I hoped it would eventually fade away. It didn’t.
When I was married, I secretly watched pornographic content featuring women self-pleasuring to understand women more. What I saw on porn sites left me feeling emasculated and used. I desperately wanted to witness something genuine so I could learn something true. I just wanted to connect with my wife, but deeper than that, I unknowingly wanted to connect to myself.
It would be another two years into our friendship before Lillian and I shot Cosmic Touch. Plus another two years of editing and waiting before we all felt strong enough to share it to the world. This film was not made for money. This film healed us. It is from a place of abundance and gratitude that we take this next step to share Cosmic Touch to the world; first as NFT art, then as something more.
